Happy Mother’s Day, though perhaps there are no mothers out there in the audience.

Nevertheless, is any relationship more complex than a mother to a son or daughter? Or perhaps not so much complex, but powerful, a vortex of emotion that shapes your whole life. You’re never as dependent on, or devoted to, another person as you were to your mother as a child. The attachment is not a choice, but a biological imprint. I am still realizing the extent to which my mother’s  style of raising me has affected who I am, how I act. I cannot separate where my natural self leaves off and my mother’s influence begins.

Getting older, the relationship changes. I’ve spent so much of my adulthood pushing away from my mother. Now I think she’s given up all hold on me, and will just take whatever she can get. Sensing that, I want to give her more, to help her not feel lonely. I know her whole life was wrapped up in her children, and want her to feel that that part of her life is still there, still meaningful. But still I hold back, so that I can be sure I am creating a relationship other than that of the obedient son.

We got my mother a “mother’s ring” today. It’s this ring made up by the jewelry companies, I’m sure, that has the birth stones of all your children. She had been hinting at it for a while, so we went ahead and got it, and she got all choked up over it. I guess it a worthy expense. We also went to the garden store and picked out some plants, and had brunch, and all that. It was a fine mother’s day.